Funniest thing I heard today......

....From our tattoo artist, whose shop is kind of in the hood. His slogan is "Good tattoos in a bad neighborhood"

Anyway here we sit waiting for husband to start sitting number 3 of a 4 sitting back piece and E.D. says..

"Oh I bought a slingshot off a homeless guy the other day...hang on", and then gets said slingshot to show us.

OK in retrospect maybe not so funny, but at the time hilarious....

The good, the bad and the ......

So good news and bad news today. First the bad.

I'm not getting hired as soon as I thought. There were some set backs and my file didn't get finished. So I'm not getting a job. The next hire date is late August. Almost 2 months after I lost the current job. Unfortunately, I turned down another job process because everybody was sure I was going to get this one. I know that was stupid..story of my life. Anyway I called about that job and the supervisor is going to try to get me back in the process. Honestly, I'm not holding my breath.

Ok, now the good.

I sent out the emails for my dissertation and have had 38 people take my survey so far. I'm pretty stoked about that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As of 7:00pm I'm up to 102 people who have completed the survey. WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!

Seventh Day

I have been reminded by Dave that today is the 7th day since I last posted. There has not been not much to talk about. I should hear next week about the new job.

Last night was girl's night out. Big fun. We went to the Melting Pot for dinner. It was really good. The dinner for two which husband and I usually get was actually good enough for three. Just enough food and we were able to have chocolate for desert. I highly recommend the Flaming Turtle.

Well this is what we get. Not very exciting this week, but that's a good thing. Last week was far to stressful. But at least it's not a bunny with a pancake on its head.....

Friday message from the Universe

The Universe always knows what I need to hear....

Funny, Sonja, how when one links job satisfaction to financial compensation, they're never paid "enough." Yet, when they see work as a way to dance with life, meet new people, and unleash the creative tiger within, they become very rich, indeed.

Every kind of rich, Sonja.

The Universe

Why people snap

This was a really bad morning. It started by me having to go to the Dr. to have my TB test read for the Sheriff's Office (SO). It was fine, I took the results to the SO and was told at that time that my file had been closed by psych. But I thought you said I passed my psych I inquired. Well, the psych Dr. advised that you did not disclose to him that you were on Prozac, which you did disclose on you medical report. **Sidebar, why would I tell one Dr. and not the other** Oh no, I protested I told him that was on on Sarafem (that's Prozac for those who don't know; apparently the shrink was one who didn't). No said the Detective. The Dr. said he asked you twice and you never disclosed it, but I will call him when he gets in at 9:30.

So at this point in our little story, I get back to my car, burst into tear and start to hyperventilate in the parking lot. I then drive home in this condition and wake up husband (who should get a medal by the way) in a hysterical fit. He thought I had run someone over with my car. I'm crying and still hyperventilating and he's trying to calm me down to get the story. Needless to say work was not an option.

This all occurred at 8:00am, by 10:15, the Det. called me back saying that No the Dr. was sure I didn't tell him. He took notes and indicates that I told him I was on Claritin, Allegra (two allergy pills...Hmmmm)and some other stuff that has no meaning here. To which I replied, I would never say I was on Claritin, because I'm not, I said Sarafem. But the Det, still says Sorry, I don't think he is going to change his mind.

At 10:30 the Det. calls me back and says that the Dr. want me to call him. I do and he explains that I have been the victim of a misunderstanding. When I told him I was on Sarafem, he did not know what that was and assumed I was mispronouncing Claritin. But he has since learned that Sarafem is another name for Prozac and has passed me, so sorry.

My file was reopened.

Are you fucking kidding me? Your a psychologist who prescribes meds. If you didn't know what it was, perhaps, I don't know ask me. Don't assume that I am so stupid I don't know how to pronounce the medications I'm one. Shit I told you I had a Master's degree and am close to a Doctorate. I mean at least he admitted he made a mistake, but in the mean time I'm a hysterical, crazy person practicing the words, "Do you want fries with that?"

Just for the record, I don't blame the detective for any of this, and suspect that the reason I got to talk to the shrink was because of him calling the Dr. back after the 10:15 conversation. Still I have a headache from the adrenalin and the crying. I just want this to be over and get an official job offer.

On My Way...

...toward finishing my dissertation. I defended my dissertation proposal today. This means that starting next week I can actually start collecting data and maybe get this thing finished soon. My professor is shooting for final defense in August, but I'm skeptical given the job change and the training I will have to do for the new job. If not August, I'm still hoping by December at the latest.

YEA ME!!!!!

On the new job front, I have to take my physical/drug screen tomorrow and I will be done with the pre-employment stuff. Today I had to look up how to write a letter of resignation in the Internet (what DID we do before the Internet), because it occurs to me that the last time I left a job I just did a department issue form. I don't know that I have ever done a letter of resignation. Anyway, if you need samples, About, is pretty good.

Shocking!!!

Report: Ricky Williams tests positive for pot

I am both shocked and amazed. Ricky Williams, the NFL running back who quit football so he wouldn't have to quit pot, tested positive for pot.

Williams sought to end a one-year drug suspension last month when he asked to rejoin the Miami Dolphins.....The Dolphins and the NFL declined comment. Before Williams’ latest setback, new Miami coach Cam Cameron repeatedly declined to say whether he would welcome Williams back.

Why is that something the Dolphins or the NFL would even consider? He's a fucking moron and a liability. The reason he wants to come back has nothing to do with his new "Eastern philosophy". He realized that without a multi-million dollar salary he can't afford to buy quality dope.

I've said this before (maybe not here), I am sick of the cry-baby punk-ass athletes who make millions of dollars and think the world owes them something.

Why is it again that teachers, and cops and those who try to make a difference don't get paid that kind of money? This was National Police Week. Let's remember those who really make a difference.

News from the Job Hunt

The hunting part is over for now. Its down to 2 choices....Bailiff at the local Sheriff's Office or academy coordinator at a training center in the next county over. I think I'm going with bailiff. This has been a very stressful decision, this whole thing has been stressful. So, here's how it works out:

Money: Bailiff is a pretty big pay cut, where as the academy job would be right around that I'm making now. I discussed this with husband and he seems to be ok with the pay cut. He manages the money, so I have to believe him.

Drive Time: Both jobs require my own vehicle. The academy job is about 1 - 1.5 hrs each way. Bailiff is about 20-30 minutes each way. With gas being $2.87 a gallon here, I think the shorter drive is the best. Besides we all know about my ADD/driving issues

Movement/promotional opportunities: The academy is not nearly as big as where I'm at now. Just a director, 3 coordinators and a staff assistant. Not alot of room for movement. Being a Bailiff gets me into the Sheriff's office and gives me some more opportunities to move perhaps to training or the psych. services later on. Plus I get to maintain my law enforcement certification without taking on extra work.

Stress Level: Academy coordinator = Higher stress; Bailiff= lower stress. Yes, with Bailiff I would be in what's called a High Risk category, but from what I hear the stress is pretty low. Also, I know the Capt. out there and he's a great guy to work for.

All in all, I think the Bailiff position is the best fit right now. Sure the money sucks, but I'll get to focus on finishing my degree, take some time to reorganize and de-stress. Either way I'm a nut case, because I hate change. But everything happens for a reason, right, so lets all just double up on our Prozac and hang on for the ride.

Tuesday Moment of Zen

Dumbest thing heard today

On the Discovery Channel's Future Weapons, while talking about military GPS capability....

"The military has far better GPS systems then the general public"

Well I would certainly fucking hope so. Its nice to know that the military isn't using Tom Tom to find their target.

Billards & Poker

So what the hell ......Husband and I were flipping channels tonight in between programs and husband says go to Billiards. Billiards, OK sure I understand that....8 ball; 9 ball, I can do that for a minute. So we're watching what I thought was 9 ball, right, 9 balls, into the pockets in numerical order, sure I get that. So then one guy misses his shot and then out of nowhere this other guy PICKS UP THE BALL, rubs it off and GIVES IT to the 2nd shooter, who then proceeds to put it anywhere he wants on the table, shoots the 9 ball in the pocket (without shooting 1-8) and wins the game. What the fuck....Oh and the by the way, was called an hand. Why you might ask? Because we were watching Texas Hold 'em Billiards.

Which brings me to my next point (not that there seemed to be a first point, whatever). Who the fuck came up with that. Texas Fucking Hold 'em Billiards. When exactly did Texas Hold 'em become the end all and be all of games (not sports people, poker and billiards are not sports, I don't care what ESPN says) Were was I? Oh yea...I still don't understand Texas Hold 'em poker (not do I want to).

I'm just saying, quit fucking with classic games like poker and pool. It confuses the rest of us, and just pisses us off.

I choked on a flamingo because the voices told me to.

Ok, I stole (appropriated) this from Jenny Haha over at Flaw & Disorder. I just thought it was great an had to bring it over. As I said in her comments, I collect Flamingos and occasionally do what the voices tell me.

Pick the month you were born. Pick the day (number) you were born. Pick the color of shirt you are wearing. Now type out the sentence you made using the answers below:

Pick the month you were born:
January----------I kicked
February--------I loved
March------------I punched
April---------------I swam with
May---------------I choked on
June---------------I murdered
July----------------I did the Macarena with
August-----------I had lunch with
September------I danced with
October----------I sang to
November-------I yelled at
December-------I ran over

Pick the day ( number) you were born on:
1----- --a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a Mexican
6-------a flamingo
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10------my neighbor
11------my science teacher
12------a banana
13------a fireman
14------a stuffed animal
15------a goat
16------a pickle
17------a squirrel
18------a spoon
19------myself
20------a baseball bat
21------a ninja
22------a snowman
23------a noodle
24-- ----your mom
25------a football player
26------my sister
27------my brother
28------an ipod
29------a permanent marker
30------a llama
31------a zombie

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White----------because I'm very pretty.
Black----------because that's how I play.
Pink------------because I'm cool like that.
Red-------------because the voices told me to.
Blue------------because I can see the future.
Green----------because I love to boogie.
Purple----------because your mom's cool.
Gray------------because the voices in my head told me to.
Yellow---------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange---------because I tripped over my house
Brown----------because I love my pillow.
Other-----------because I'm a ninja.
None-----------because I can't control myself

Job Hunting & Neediness

Job Hunting Sucks. Yea its all fun and games when you have a job and are just looking, but when you actually have to find a job it sucks monkey butt. There are all kinds of jobs open when you don't need one, but as soon as you have to find a job, there seems to be no openings. I have applied for two things in my field in the public sector and spoke to a friend in the private sector about working for him.

I am also finding it harder and harder to get out of bed and come to the current job that I will not have in 3 months. Depression is fun.

Just for the record though this is really just a pathetic ploy for sympathy and to have all you nice people say nice things about me. Please see it for what it is. I'm needy right now. I hate being needy. I have to keep reminding husband that this clingy, neediness will pass, but right now I'm Velcro wife.

So in order to give husband some rest, everybody fulfill my needy desires today. Husband thanks you and I thank you.

Spring Fling

I hate Spring! Oh yea, the weather is great and pretty things are blooming and cute fuzzy animals are being born, blah, blah, blah.

Along with the blooming though is a higher pollen count. I can't breathe, my head hurts. I feel like crap. Thank the heavens for pharmaceuticals. I would die without the aid of Flonase, and Allegra. Maybe if it gets really bad I can add an OTC drug too. God I love Spring.

Of course it could be worse, a co-worker of my spent the entire day sneezing his head off. He must have sneezed a million time today.

The weather is great though....

Buster in the Freezer

I haven't blogged in a week and all of a sudden I have 4 ideas floating out there. Two in draft form. This one however just had to be written....

The hubby and I went to my parents' for dinner tonight since my brother is in town. He brought the dog. We started discussing his best friend's boxer, and my mother asks "Is Buster still in the freezer?" This begs 2 questions: Who is Buster and why is he in the freezer?

Buster was apparently the friend's first dog. When Buster died, the friend did not want to bury it in the back yard because he thought he might be moving soon and would have to dig the dog up and move it (WTF). They also thought they wanted a necropsy to see if the vet did something wrong. Anyway, they put the dog in a drop freezer and then never moved, or had a necropsy. And now the freezer has become some kind of shrine. The dog has been in the freezer for like 2 years.

I stated the obvious that they should have the dog cremated and that solves the moving problem since they aren't doing the necropsy. Apparently my brother's friend won't do that, so Buster just sits in the freezer wrapped in a blanket my mother made for the family.

This was much funnier when my brother told it. Also the above is a picture of my brother's dog Logan, not Buster.

The follow up story is about the dead German in my parent's back yard....

Now its really, really official

At 10:00am EST today I was informed that my contract was not being renewed (we don't fire people here) and that as of June 30, I would no longer have a job. The kicker is that when I asked the big boss the reason, I was told "I don't really know, that is an HR issue and you will have to discuss it with them".

Ummmm, your the head of this campus and you recommended the termination and you can't tell me why you are firing me? WTF!!??

So the job hunt begins, I have 2 months. If you hear of anything, let me know.

Monday Moment of Zen

I give to you, your educational Monday Moment of Zen...the crack spider.

Its official

Well, it's official, I'm being fired.

Ok well not official and not quite fired but saying that "I'm unofficially getting a 6 month contract for performance review" is long and lacks the drama of the opening sentence.


I was told last Friday by a little bird that was not getting a contract this year, which is the same as being fired. When I confronted my boss, this is how the conversation went:

Me: I hear that some people are not getting contracts this year, I was just wondering if I was one of them.

Spineless Jelly Fish: Who have you been talking to?

ME: Ummm, what?

SJF: I don't know that you're not getting a contract, last I heard you're getting a 6 month review contract.

ME: Ummmm, Why?

SJF: You had a deficient file on your last audit.

ME: (Like you did last year?) Well is anybody else getting this review? (Like the guy who has been written up by the State 6 times in the last 18 months?)

SJP: You know I can't tell you that.

ME: So the last 8 years of service mean nothing?

Supervisor: Well you know better than I do that you probably ran a foul of someone on the contract committee. (Read the guy who was written up 6X)

ME: Ummmm, were you going to tell me? (Or stand up for me for that matter?)

SJF: Well, (squirm) I was waiting for official word.

ME: Ummm, ok great, thanks.

SJF: Well now, lets' talk about this (Do you not like me now?)

ME: Nothing to discuss, going back to work.

The thing about a 6 month contract is that you will never get a full contract. They will find a reason to fire you.

So here are my thoughts and theories:

1. The college president is trying to destroy our police training programs. We're
not academic enough (even though many of us have Master's degrees and some of us have Doctorate's..for shame). If he a show that we are losing money and are incompetent, he can move his precious BAS degree and get rid of the rest of the "blue collar trash"

2. Karma can be a bitch.

3. In times of trouble, you find out who your real friends are. (yea its a given)

For Wendy

Good luck with the 2 yr old herding.

Open letter to the guy I cut off on the interstate today

Dear Guy,

First I would like to apologize for cutting you off this morning. I realize that it was my fault and take full responsibility for my action...Well not full responsibility, in my defense your car was small and the color of concrete, so that even though I looked and signaled, I could not see you.

The main point here is that once I realized my error, I immediately attempted to apologize by raising my hand to you. I know that this can look like a "thank you" sign which would have been clearly inappropriate. I made a second attempt to say "I'm sorry" when you passed me. At 75mph, and at great risk to my life, I looked at you and and said "I'm Sorry". Now because we were doing 75mph and you were clearly enraged ( as evidenced by the very hostile look in your eye), you may not have processed this apology. That being said I feel it was very rude of you to roll down your window and give me the finger as you exited the freeway.

I really felt bad about cutting you off, more than I probably should have. I mean it's not like I killed you or ran over your puppy or anything. It was an honest mistake. I attempted to apology and your response was rude and inappropriate. Since you decided to be a complete asshat, my hope for you is that you are rear ended in your small ugly car by a drunk wit no driver's license, insurance and no visible means of income.

Yours truly,
SB